


With You

by half_sleeping



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 10:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1978680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/half_sleeping/pseuds/half_sleeping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Speculative; what if Sousuke isn't being scouted after all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	With You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Sousuke's habit of clutching his shoulder and [this](http://midoriis.tumblr.com/post/92013833940/reminder-that-angina-pectoris-a-discomfort-pain) post which speculated that he might have underlying reasons for doing so.

“Hey, asshole,” Rin’s voice gritted through the phone speaker. Sousuke blinked once. “Guess what I’m looking at?”

“Aren’t these conversations supposed to start with ‘what are you wearing?’” said Sousuke. He leaned against the wall and thought frantically about what could make Rin sound like that. “For instance, I know this is boring, but I’m in-”

“You left your medical file on your desk when I went looking for the training schedules,” said Rin, in that same ground-flat voice. “You wanna come up here and explain this to me, or should I keep reading your doctor’s letter saying how you have a chronic rotator cuff injury which prevents you from-”

 Sousuke hung up, and started running for the dorm room.

 When he arrived Rin was still standing at his desk papers in one hand and phone in the other, staring at the contacts screen from which he’d dialed Sousuke in the first place, a testament to both Sousuke’s speed, and Rin’s shock.

Sousuke, panting, plucked the phone from Rin’s hand. Rin looked at him, quite calmly.

“You weren’t scouted,” Rin said. “You’re quitting swimming.”

“Well,” returned Sousuke. “You have a girl’s name.”

Rin stared at him and then threw himself backwards onto his bed, papers flying everywhere. It was a thick file. Sousuke had sat that file on his desk all this time and figured no one would even look. Rin flung his hand over his eyes. “Fuck,” he said. “You asshole. You _asshole_.”

“You go through people’s desks when they’re not around,” said Sousuke, but he sat down on the other side of the bed and lay down too, not caring that he was crumpling the reports under him. The bed creaked alarmingly under the weight of his body and Rin’s combined. This was nothing to the sound it made as Sousuke pressed Rin into the bed with his mouth and hands and Rin fought him for dominance and control, but this was clearly not the time for such sounds. For one thing, Sousuke could see it was going to take some pretty fancy maneuvering if Rin was ever going to let Sousuke touch him again. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes _it fucking is_ ,” said Rin.

“Okay,” said Sousuke. Make that extremely fancy. “Fine, it is.”

“You lied to me,” Rin said.

Sosuke looked up at the top bunk, and shrugged. “Yeah. Sorry.”

Rin said, muffled, “How bad?”

“You saw the letter,” said Sousuke. “It’s not- I can deal with it.” And he had been. Massages, icing his shoulder, stretching it out- nothing fucking helped. The pain always came back, worse and worse each time, and Sousuke, with an athlete's finely tuned sense of his own body, could tell that he would start weaken soon. He’d bargained with his injury and doctors and parents for this last half year at Samezuka, and then- and then the rest of his life, without swimming. Without racing.

Without Rin.

Rin sat upright. His hand slammed into the bed and made a ‘poof’ sound. “Have you even been taking precautions, idiot?” he demanded. “If your shoulder- if it’s-”

“I did,” said Sousuke. He let a note of bitterness seep into his voice, and closed his eyes, so that Rin didn’t have to see the expression in them. He’d taken every damn precaution he knew how. It had still happened, still crept up on him. Every time he stretched out his shoulder he knew it was happening. He was not yet eighteen and his body was dying on him every time he pushed it, even when he wasn’t.

"I thought if I was going to quit we might as well swim together again," said Sousuke. He opened his eyes. "You know. One last time."

"Oh my god shut up you're going to make me cry," said Rin. He flung himself back down and the bed squeaked in protest. Sousuke made no noise. "Who else knows?"

"No one," said Sousuke. He reached over and took Rin's hand, and held on. "My parents. Tokitsu. The scouts. You."

"Me," said Rin. His grip tightened until it hurt. "You _bastard_." He'd lied; he was already crying, and they tracked wet trails down the faint tan lines of Rin's goggle straps and into his hair. “Why are you so fucking calm?” Rin said, as though Sousuke had not known for months now that his world was ending.

The words were out of Sousuke’s mouth before he could decide to take them back. "I thought that I could bear it if I had one last season with you,” he said, and instantly wished to take them back. He wanted to pull Rin in and kiss away the tears, smooth back that hair and promise him that nothing would change if he didn’t want it to. He wanted nothing to change. He wanted them to be children again with their futures before them. He wanted-

Rin rolled further away from Sousuke, stifling a sob in a bitten-off curse, in his own lips, bitten until red. His hand pulled out of Sousuke’s and his fists balled up in the blanket and his back heaved, and Sousuke looked at him and did not know how to reach out again.

"I'm sorry," said Sousuke, finally. He brushed his fingers over Rin's cheek.

"For what?" demanded Rin. That was what Rin did, running ahead while only thinking of himself. Forcing other people to follow him.

There was only one person Rin had ever lagged behind, and now that person would never be-

There were a lot of things Sousuke could have said, right then and there, _because I let you go then and I didn’t want to_ , and _I'm sorry, I came after you now and it's too late, it's too late for both of us_. He was only allowing himself this half a year, and then, again, he would have to let Rin go.

"You only have so long to swim with me after all," he said, and when Rin turned and climbed on top of him, the bed creaking and papers rustling, Sousuke put his arms around him, waiting until he had to let go.


End file.
